


burning flames  (or paradise)

by orphan_account



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3369713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"As he lay there, cocooned in blankets, the scent of Nick’s soap in the air, Rafael felt something drop in his stomach. He wanted to pull the sheets up over his head, he wanted to hide from the world. He had a feeling that if he got out of bed, if he went on with his day something would happen."</p>
            </blockquote>





	burning flames  (or paradise)

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first svu fic
> 
> sorry if it's terrible

When Rafael woke up, he could hear the shower running. He knew he should get up and start getting ready, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave the warmth of the bed. He did the math in his head, figuring out the last possible second he had to be up to make it out of the house on time. 

He had about two minutes left when the bathroom door opened. Nick came out, a towel wrapped around his waist, rubbing another one through his wet hair. 

“You still in bed?” he asked.

Rafael groaned. “I can’t see this right now.”

Nick laughed. 

“I’m serious,” Rafael said. “You look disgusting, get out. You and your abs need to get away from me.”

Nick leaned down a pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You’re gonna be late.”

“I still have two minutes.”

“You’re worse than Zara, you know that?” Nick told him as he pulled on his pants.

“I’m worse than a ten year old girl? Is that supposed to be an insult.”

Nick rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Well, when you get your ass out of bed, I’ll have coffee downstairs.”

As he lay there, cocooned in blankets, the scent of Nick’s soap in the air, Rafael felt something drop in his stomach. He wanted to pull the sheets up over his head, he wanted to hide from the world. He had a feeling that if he got out of bed, if he went on with his day something would happen.

But because he was an ADA, and a grown man, he got out of bed. He showered and shaved and chose a suit, leaving his tie draped undone around his neck as he went downstairs. 

True to his word, Nick had made coffee. He’d also made eggs and toast, and Rafael was grateful. He was reading the paper, the remains of his breakfast in front of him.

“You know you could start running with me in the mornings,” Nick said as Rafael began to eat.

He snorted. “Yeah, good idea.”

Nick smiled. “It was worth a shot.”

Nick passed him the rest of the Times, keeping the sports section for himself. The rest of breakfast passed in silence. 

Rafael got up and brought both of their plates to the sink. He was halfway through the dishes when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. He leaned into the touch, his back pressed against Nick’s chest as Nick pressed a kiss to his temple. 

“I was thinking, if I get Gil this weekend, we could all go to the zoo.”

“That’d be nice.”

“Make a day of it, get lunch, ice cream too.”

“You’re trying to fatten me up so I’ll come running with you.”

“You got me,” Nick laughed. 

Rafael wiped his hands on a dishcloth, then turned in his arms. He tilted his head up, and sure enough Nick leaned down and kissed him. Wrapped in Nick’s arms, he felt safe, trading coffee flavored kisses, making plans for the weekend, Rafael felt like he wanted to capture the moment and live in it. 

“You’re gonna make me late,” Nick said with a grin.

“I’m sure we can think of an excuse.”

“We both know Liv is gonna see right through it,” Nick said.

“It was worth a try.”

Nick laughed, then unwrapped his arms from around Rafael. He immediately missed his heat when he stepped back.

“You want some coffee to go?” Nick asked, as he got his own travel mug out.

“Please.”

Rafael went to his office, got the papers he needed and put them into his briefcase. He was doing his tie when he went back into the kitchen. Nick came up to him and pushed his hands away, tying it himself.

Rafael looked up at him, the utter look of concentration on his face, the little furrow between his brows. 

“Be careful today, alright?” Rafael said, before he could stop himself.

“What do you mean?”

“Just, I don’t know, be careful.”

“Okay,” Nick said, still sounding confused. “I’m always careful.”

“Of course you are,” Rafael said with a forced smile, trying to ignore the sinking in his stomach.

 

He got the call in court. The judge was just announcing a five minute recess so he let it buzz in his pocket. Judge Matthews was notorious for her distaste of cell phones while court was in session. He looked at the missed call as soon as he was in the corridor, almost relieved when he saw it was Olivia. It was probably something to do with the case. 

“Benson,” she answered.

“It’s me.”

“Barba, you need to come down here.”

He rolled his eyes. He loved her, but cops had a tendency to think every problem needed fixing immediately. “I can’t, I’ve only got a five minute recess, if it’s about the Macnamera case-”

“It’s Nick, he’s been shot.”

He knew he was supposed to say something, he knew he should be asking questions, he needed to talk to the judge, he needed to call Cynthia and Maria and Cesaria, but all he could think about was Nick that morning, fresh from the shower and laughing at him.

“How bad?” he said finally.

“He’s in surgery, the doctors say that the bullet nicked something, that he’d bleeding internally.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“I’ll call you if anything changes.”

She ended the call, and it took him a moment to move. It felt like a dream, like he’d open his eyes and Nick would be there beside him.

 

By the time he got to the hospital, Nick was out of surgery.

“He’s going to be fine,” Olivia assured him as soon as he got through the doors.

He sagged into the nearest chair, covering his face with his hand. The entire ride to the hospital, he’d wondered what he’d do if Nick had died. Somehow, Nick had become a part of him, without him noticing. Nick had become as integral to his function as his heart or his lungs or coffee. 

Olivia put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it tight. 

When he had collected himself, he stood. 

“Where is he?”

She lead him through the maze of corridors. When they got to the door, he hesitated for a moment. 

“The nurse said that he’d be out for a while,” Olivia said gently.

Steeling himself, he opened the door. 

Nick was lying in the bed, his skin pale and his arm hooked up to an I.V. Rafael went to his side, carefully taking his hand. 

“There’s not going to be any permanent damage?” 

“No,” Olivia said. “The bullet nicked his spleen, that’s what they were worried about, but they fixed it. It’s gonna be a few months, but he’ll be fine.”

Rafael sat down, bringing Nick’s hand to his lips to brush a kiss to his knuckles. He was going to be fine.

 

Rafael woke to Nick and Olivia having a hushed conversation.

“You’re awake?” he said, his head shooting up. He regretted it immediately. Hospital chairs weren’t made for sleeping in.

“Yeah,” Nick said with a lopsided smile. “I get shot and you’re the one falling asleep?”

Rafael laughed weakly. “As soon as we get out of here, I am going to be so pissed that the first thing you said to me after almost dying is a stupid joke.”

“I love you too.”

“I’m gonna get some coffee,” Olivia said, ducking out.

“You scared me,” Rafael said, breaking the silence she left in her wake.

“I’m fine.”

“You almost died.”

“But I didn’t.”

“I thought, I don’t know what I’d do if you hadn’t-”

“Hey,” Nick said. “You can’t do that, you can’t think about the what ifs. I didn’t die, I’m here, I’m okay.”

“Marry me,” Rafael said without thinking.

“What?”

“Marry me. I couldn’t, all I could think about was that if you died, I wouldn’t be able to, that I’d just be a guy. I wouldn’t be able to-”

“Hey, you’re more than just a guy.”

“I know, but I want it, I want to be your husband, I want to wake up to you every morning, I want you to make me breakfast and tie my ties and try to convince me to go running and-”

“Okay.”

“What?”

Nick smiled at him. “Okay, yeah, let’s get married.”

Rafael leaned forward and kissed him. It was chaste, their lips were dry and his neck still hurt and Olivia would probably be back soon.

It was perfect.


End file.
